Tuesday, July 5

sex, lies, & video tapes

Object of your obsession is invariably something negative which you have no control over.

Being happy isn’t all that great. The last time I was really happy I got so fat.

Right now I have one key. Everything I own is in the car. If I get an apartment, that’s two keys. If I got a job, I might have to open and close. That’s more keys. You know, buy some stuff then I’m afraid it’ll get ripped of it. Then I get more keys. You know I just like having one key. It’s clean.

I was a miserable failure in therapy. It was silly for me. So I formed my own theory that you should never take advice from someone who doesn’t know you intimately.

-You always underestimate me.
- I wonder why

I didn’t think it would have veins, ridges or any thing. I just thought it would be smooth. Like a test tube. The organ itself seemed like a separate thing and a separate entity to me.

-I don’t want to talk about it.
-Ok. Then don’t.

-I could have easily assumed that you didn’t want to make love to me because you were having an affair.
-I’m not.
-well, I’m not either.
-then why don’t I believe you?

I just sit around and start inventing these intricate scenarious and then I don’t want to have wasted my time, so I want to believe them.

-Things are getting complicated.
-no, they’re getting really simple.

My life is shit. It’s just shit. Nothing is what I thought it was.

I hate it when I have feelings that she has. It bothers me when I think about men, because I know that’s the way she thinks.

I was a pathological liar. Or I am, I should say. Lying is like alcoholism. You’re continually recovering.

I used to express my feelings nonverbally and often scared people who were close to me.

Am I supposed to recount all the points in my life leading up to this moment and then hope that it’s coherent ... that it makes some sort of sense to you? It doesn’t make any sense to me.

You are wearing blue, I’m wearing blue. Is this some sort of weird coincidence? I don’t think so. I think it’s something more.

-I think it’s gonna rain.
-It is raining.


Anonymous said...

In life ,
thoough there may be pain
and sorrow ,
along the way also lies
a great happiness .
Though your world feels broken ,
pick up what's good
and move on
for somehow your desires
will find fulfillment .
Remeber that
in the end , the ups and downs
will balance themselves ,
cry your tears ,
smile your smiles ,
but never, never, surrender .
Remeber that
in yourself lies the strength
to believe that your dreams
are always close by ,
even when they seem to be
farthest away.

SAM said...