Tuesday, March 28

fatal freedom

If we dare to be as free as our thoughts, what would happen in the world?
I’ve been always scared of so much freedom…… I’ve never been as much as powerful to bear others freedom and although I’ve let them to be free, I’ve been damaged by it…. In return, I’ve never let myself to be free, where I see how fragile humans are and how dangerous could be my freedom…..
I can’t imagine such a freedom in our behaviors: as free as our thoughts…………
Our thoughts are quite restricted to the blackbox of mind…they don't have any limit, but they are quite hidden to other people,…. they are not bared, although they somehow can be felt…people can never reach the exact shape of our thoughts…and we try to hide some of them completely form other people or disturb and avoid and forget some of them that bother us…. This means FREEDOM and PRIVACY of our thoughts…… what about the behaviors? Are they private too? Does it matter? Can we hide them if we like? Are they restricted to the life of ourselves?
Nobody feels safe to be totally heard and watched and touched by other people…… we are all weak to some degrees….we are not separated from our society…..we can’t put ourselves in a dark cell, hidden from the others, or draw a circle around ourselves and imagine to be separated…….. we affect other people and we are affected by them….. it’s simply the rule of “action and reaction”…..

Everyone determines a different limit for every kind of behaviors: in the family, with close friends, with neighbors, at work, in the society…. and different for each member of them…. In the freest behaviors, this border fits to one’s own needs…. These limits change with the changes of the needs,... and it's a part of our daily program(and may be the hardest part of it) to run these changes……and it’s where my question arises…..why we couldn't tolerate so much freedom?

I wish we were all powerful enough to bear and respect these changes of the limits of each person…… but we are not, although we pretend to be…… it’s the nature of our lives: to change…. But as every other natural change, this change of our needs (that affects other people too) is painful and sometimes fatal too….. Should I or could I avoid to be painful for the others? If I don't, am I different from a sting or a cup of poison.... Is this the nature of life? to make us kill each other to live longer or better?

I can't live so......... I don't have any respect for such a life..... and such a freedom....

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